Red Thread | Self Love

Hello fellow humans,

This Red Thread branches off from November's article "Stop Telling People to Love Themselves." It was beautifully written around the concept of self-love. If you haven't read it yet, do yourself the favor. The article holds such valuable information and it reaches outside the box to capture a deeper understanding for the meaning of this term that is now so frequently thrown around.

Below, three guests share their experiences regarding self-love. We understand and value the connection of everyone's paths and experiences and that is why we publish the Red Thread every month.

- Haila Macedo, Writer/Blog Editor

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Nicholas Singleton, Stony Brook University Graduate, Bachelors of Psychology:

Higher education is often viewed as a system that conveys truth and facts to those seeking such material. Throughout my years invested in university, I have learned that the information that is delivered to students is to be received and applied to each individual’s lives uniquely. Within the field of psychology in higher education, colleges do not appear to depict the idea of self love as a focal point within curriculums. It is evident that curriculums focus primarily on psychological disorders and illnesses instead of happiness and loving one's self. Though mental health and illnesses are important factors to focus on, it should be crucial to implement teachings on self love and happiness within the educational system. This may perhaps lead to increased self-love and cause aspiring psychologists to spread this idea to others. There are infinite benefits that may come from applying the concept of self love in cases of mental illness.

Marina Sheinker, Holistic Health Coach, Mother to Sky:

Being a mother has taught me everything about self love. They say once you have a child, it’s not about you anymore and that your whole world just becomes about them. That’s true. Your focus shifts because there’s a brand new human being that you are responsible for, that depends on you, and whom you want to give everything to. During the first year of his life, I focused everything I had on him and just sort of forgot about myself. That started to catch up with me and it led me to have less energy. I just couldn’t reach my full potential anymore. Having my son has taught me that in order to be able to provide for him, I have to take care of myself. I have to love myself enough to want to be around for him while being the best version of myself That can only be achieved through self love and self care.

Haila Rodriguez, Transformational Coach / Writer & Blog Editor for Three Jewels:

I learned self love by learning what wasn’t love. I thought that I had to love unconditionally and accept everything from people I loved. If I didn’t accept everything from someone else, it meant I didn’t love them. I thought I had to accept myself for the way I was and not push too hard for change. Through countless falls and a lot of suffering, I learned that none of this was true and that the only way to fully understand the concept of love was to see the truth without any opinions that came from my conditioned life experiences. I had to see clearly. Through my curiosity for the Buddhist teachings and my meditation practice, I have been able to observe and see how fogged up the concept of love is throughout the world. I have learned that first, I must see myself for the human I am at this moment and accept myself with infinite compassion. Because I love myself, I must set boundaries. People are allowed to feel pain but if they decide to inflict their pain onto me it is my responsibility to step away. It’s my responsibility to take care of myself. The way I love myself will reflect in the way that I love others. The level of self love I have will affect my mental and physical health and this will cause a ripple effect of what I am able to put out into the world and how I’m able to offer myself and serve others. Through self love, I have learned how to care for myself and set positive boundaries so that I may better serve those in need.